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by october henson davis (Iota Chi, middle tennessee state university), associate director of volunteer and alumnae engagement
We’ve heard it said time and time again that we are better together. From song lyrics to movie quotes to famous novels – they each reference the joy that comes from tackling life’s highs and lows with others by our side. The shared understanding of the power of friendships was anecdotal in many ways until researchers at the University of Virginia conducted an experiment looking at the impact of social support on the perception of how steep a hill is, eventually coined as the “Social Slope Effect.”
Their discoveries were fascinating! The researchers believed that social relationships could impact how someone views the steepness of a hill. Their hypothesis was correct – those who stood at the bottom of the hill beside a friend perceived the hill to be less steep. Additionally, those who stood beside someone who they shared a long-term friendship with estimated the hill to be even gentler. The Social Slope Effect is proof that our brains view supportive relationships as a psychological energy source.
How does that study impact us as Alpha Chi Omega sisters? It shows us how important the relationships and connections we build are! It is proof that nurturing our friendships as collegians and alumnae is critical to our psychological health.
Building healthy, long-term friendships can be easier said than done – especially as we get older! Keep reading to learn ways to nurture existing friendships and create new ones. One thing we know for sure is that we will have hills (challenges) in our life, and it is important to have people by our side as we face them!
Be intentional
Our friendships thrive on steady, consistent connection, not grand gestures! This could be sending a “thinking of you” text to a sister or sharing your favorite memory together. If you see an Instagram post or a TikTok they’d love – send it to them. When you know they have something coming up like a big exam or a work presentation, reach out to them to see how it went.
Knowing that someone is thinking of us is so important and helps build connection even when we’re physically apart!
create shared experiences
We are fortunate – as Alpha Chi Omegas, we come with built-in shared experiences! We can refer to things we have all experienced as members while creating future experiences, too!
Consider opportunities to extend an invitation to a sister-friend you’re hoping to grow closer to. Encourage a sister to join you at an upcoming chapter event, reach out to a sister you haven’t spoken to in a while and encourage her to come to the next alumnae chapter gathering, or invite a volunteer on your team to a virtual coffee date to catch up.
celebrate their successes
There are so many things for us to celebrate, and they may change based on the season of life we are in. To build a strong village of support, you have to be a villager. Your friends should hear messages of support from you when they are celebrating a new home, a new family member, a graduation, a job promotion and so much more. It is hard when we are so busy, but it can be so rewarding to recognize those you love!
allow space for growth
Be flexible! The Social Slope Effect tells us that long-term friendships are even more psychologically rewarding than new friendships (which are important, too!). With lifelong friends, you’ll experience many phases of life, and with that comes change. Allow space for your friends to grow. They may have varying schedules, find new interests and hobbies, and enter different stages of life. Consistency throughout is key while allowing each of you to develop.
building new friendships
Having the opportunity to nurture our existing friendships is so special, but there is something exciting about making new friends, too! Consider the spaces you are in where you might make a new friend. Is it someone else in your new member class? An alumna who just moved to town? A volunteer you’ve built a working relationship with but haven’t gotten to know on a personal level? Or maybe you’ve moved to a new place and hope to reach out to the alumnae chapter in your area. There are so many opportunities as an Alpha Chi Omega!
Go where connection is likely – Try an upcoming sisterhood event, National Convention or virtually in an alumnae Facebook group.
Take the initiative – We are all craving connection, but many hesitate to ask. “Chatting today has been great. Would you like to grab coffee sometime?”
Use shared context – Don’t know what to talk about first? Reference shared experiences like being an Alpha Chi Omega.
Look for common interests and values – Our commonalities lay the groundwork for lasting friendships.
Be patient – Creating closeness takes time. Friendships are often developed through repeated contact, not instant chemistry.
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Did you learn something meaningful from this Note of Belonging? We invite you to share your story of belonging through your Alpha Chi Omega journey or recommend a sister to do so!
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